


touch me once (and you'll know it's true)

by risquetendencies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Melodrama, Older Characters, Pining, Shenanigans, Singer!Bokuto, Veterinarian!Kuroo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-23 17:05:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7472070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/risquetendencies/pseuds/risquetendencies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“Swinging right back around to the point, what are you gonna do?”</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <em>“About what?”</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <em>“The charity concert thing, obviously. That you’re going to with your secret boyfriend,” Kuroo elaborated, tone more clipped than it had to be. But he was worried, so that was going to manifest somewhere. He didn’t want a simple lie to blow up in Bokuto’s face and ruin his career. He worked too hard and loved music too deeply to have his dreams ended by a romantic scandal that was imaginary to begin with. That would be irritatingly stupid. </em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ewagan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ewagan/gifts).



> **Disclaimer:** Any lyrics in this story are wholly of my own creation and that is why they're incredibly cheesy and probably terrible. Please forgive me, I have zero musical talent, I just write fanfiction. And sing in my car. Badly.
> 
> On the other hand, the title of this story is inspired by a lyric from Madonna's song, "Crazy For You," which you can listen to [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEygTz-9-SU). Don't imagine Bokuto singing that though unless you want to choke on whatever you're eating/drinking at the moment.
> 
> Seriously, be safe. And enjoy the fic!!
> 
> Dedicated to @ewagan who is my HQ Summer Hols recipient.

Every now and again, Tetsurou questioned his decision to work with animals over people. But animals were his break from humankind. He spent plenty of time taking care of his fellow species as it was; piling on more of that arduous work would probably make him go gray before he hit thirty. Which was only a few short years away, thus he wasn't risking it.

Still, given the frequency the people in his life looked to him for support, he probably could've hacked it as a guidance counselor no problem.

Bokuto was by far his biggest customer these days; ever since his debut album had gone big three summers ago, he was running on loftier highs and more bankrupt lows. Feedback from trusted friends was the most surefire way to pump him back up, which was where Kuroo figured in.

"I promise you, it was an amazing performance."

And it had been, which was why it was so hard to comprehend why the artist who gave it was currently burrowed into a nest of blankets with only his feet visible. They'd been at this act for almost an hour now, to little avail. No amount of reassurances had dragged the beast from his lair yet, though the lump in the middle of all the layers twitched occasionally to let Tetsurou know he was at least alive in there.

"All the critics who watched it gave you tons of praise, and your fans ate it up too."

No response. Tetsurou sighed. Frankly he didn't understand what he was witnessing.

For someone who normally basked in praise, the coming down period immediately after it was rough for Bokuto. He'd receive stellar reviews and a few days later he would moan and cry about how no one seemed to care about the music he created, then he'd contemplate quitting, and then he'd get over it. A vicious cycle, but intuition told Kuroo that even if he was kept drenched in praise consistently, these episodes would still happen. Maybe they were just a natural part of the creative process. He himself wouldn't know. He wasn't an artist.

And his imagination was wearing thin, so he'd give it one more go before switching tactics.

"Kenma told me to tell you that it sounded like you'd improved since the last time you went unplugged. Something about making the emotions bleed through to the words or something. He had a better analogy."

That time he got a full on shift in the blankets, the edges at the head of the couch tugging free to reveal a couple tufts of snowy hair.

"Ready to come out?"

Now, he couldn't exactly say for sure, but the way Bokuto's visible strands of hair swayed made him think that answer wasn't an affirmative. Also the fact that he remained covered kind of sealed that conclusion.

"You have to come out sometime. And you know that if you don't come out on your own, I'll make you come out."

The lack of movement decided him.

"Bo, I can see your feet," he teased, scooting closer.

At that, the appendages in question disappeared under the hem of the blanket at light speed. Unfortunately for Bokuto, they weren't that out of reach.

Lurching forward with both hands, Kuroo pinned Bokuto's leg with one, reaching for a foot with another. Bokuto squirmed futilely, but was caught. He let out a pained, clearly repressed giggle when Tetsurou's fingers skimmed the sole of his foot, grazing the softer areas mercilessly, once, then several times in quick succession. The sofa shook with the gale force of his laughter until Tetsurou finally relented, letting his prey catch his breath.

For a mere half a second before he started up again.

"S-stop!" Bokuto half-growled, half-hiccuped at him, voice ringing loud and clear even from beneath his haven. "That's mean, Kuroo-ooo!"

"It got you talking though," he jabbed in return, a smirk curving his lips when he caught his head popping out from the covers. "Also, hi. Haven't seen your pretty face in quite some time."

Very maturely, Bokuto stuck his tongue out at him. But perhaps that was the price he had to pay for his victory.

"You done, or do I have to tickle you again?"

Retracting his tongue, Bokuto pondered the question.

"What did you think of the song?" he asked eventually, sliding a hand underneath his chin to hold it up.

"Me?"

The man lying beside him bobbed his head a few times to indicate his answer. Tetsurou pursed his lips, trying to fish around for a suitable description.

Originally he was going to be at the concert in person, where he would have had a better vantage to listen from. It was an intimate affair with an audience of around fifty, hosted by a radio station and broadcast over the waves for anyone who cared to see it and couldn't come. Like him. Though he'd watched the live feed on his laptop, so he'd had video to complete the experience.

Work had dashed his plans as it often did when he was the main vet on-call during breeding season. There were just too many first time owners tied to the practice that gratefully took him up on his offer to monitor their cats or dogs when they went into labor.

An offer he only half-heartedly regretted, because as much of a burden as it placed on him, he was glad that the animals had someone who knew what they were doing caring for them at that special time. More or less, the mothers had an instinct of how to handle everything, but he figured they could use a bit of pampering. Once they were delivered, they wouldn't want to be anywhere near him.

When the concert had begun, he'd been looking after Chiyo, an older cat working on her second litter. She had different owners than when she'd birthed the first kittens, and her new pet parents were the nervous sort. The moment they'd noticed the signs that her time was approaching, they had brought her in for observation. Chiyo was apathetic to the process, and Tetsurou had coaxed her to settle in on his lap for a spell while he'd watched Bokuto perform with a few expertly-placed scratches behind the ears.

Bokuto was a vocalist who sang about anything that caught his interest, be it anthems about enjoying life to the fullest or songs about dealing with inner struggles. Most of them had to do with his life directly because he could relate to that better than taking inspiration from someone else's experiences.

That night though, the focus had been on romance, something he didn't obviously have material to draw from. He wasn't seeing anyone. Had never really been in love even if he'd dated people over the years. Love songs were one of the few hallowed genres he'd never spent time on. There were a few songs, none of them finished, that Tetsurou had seen lyrics scrawled for in his notebooks, but this was the first one Bokuto had breathed life into, given a melody and a sound, and shared with the world.

" _When it hurts it's hell,_ " he sang, brows knit and hands gripping the mic stand tightly, " _When it's good I never want to stop-_ "

" _Think about saying so but I know I shouldn't... you love me and I love you, but we never match-_ "

If he didn't know that it was artistry and nothing that had actually happened to Bokuto, he would've wanted to hunt down whoever had done that to him and thoroughly kick their ass. But the song had been beautiful, in a painful sort of way. Full of longing and restless emotion, the kind of writing Bokuto did at his best, when he really felt connected to a song and hit a creative stride.

Back in the present, he gathered his thoughts. Laying an affectionate pat to his leg over the blankets, he located the words he wanted.

"You did really good, Bo. I'm sure it'll touch a lot of people who feel the same way. It definitely broke my heart, so there you go."

For a second, Bokuto seemed concerned, but that worry soon bled into the broadest of grins.

"But I don't wanna go breaking your heart-" he chorused.

Tetsurou rolled his eyes.

"Figure of speech, I'm fine. I just mean it was pretty emotional. Which is good, for these kinds of songs. That's the goal, if I'm not mistaken."

“Making people feel stuff is a plus,” he agreed, smile losing some of the playful edge. Tetsurou rubbed at his shin encouragingly.

“See, then you have nothing to mope about. So knock it off, you gave it your best, and like I told you earlier, everyone dug it. Not just me.”

“I’m glad you liked it though,” Bokuto clarified quickly, which did funny things to Kuroo. Not like that was anything new, but it still startled him how reliant Bokuto seemed to be on his opinion. It didn’t even have to be eloquently delivered, so long as he approved, that was enough for his friend. Enough to chase away the demons for one night, anyway.

"Yeah, I did. Does that help?"

Kuroo's eyes skirted over what of Bokuto he could see. Though a part of his friend seemed at ease, content with the flow of their conversation, part of him was tense like he was unsettled about something. Whatever it was, Bokuto didn't seem to be racing to divulge, though.

"Okay, move that ass forward and give me room," he ordered, making a scooting motion with his hand.

"Doesn't it normally go, 'back that ass up' though?"

"Not right now it doesn't."

Humming in an unperturbed manner, Bokuto shimmied away from the cushions, leaving a gap for him to squeeze in behind him. A thin gap, but he'd manage. Gauging his next moves, Tetsurou advanced slowly, slotting into the space and wrapping his arm around his friend's middle over the covers. It was warm enough being caught between his body heat and the couch that he didn't need anything else.

Settling in, he allowed himself one small moment to close his eyes and let the bliss sink in before he reverted to being professional.

"So what else is bugging you, big guy? You didn't start feeling bad about the show specifically until later, but when you came home the other night you were already on edge. How come?"

Sliding his fingers upward, he tiptoed across Bokuto's shoulders and neck to thread them through the locks of hair that flopped downward, no longer defying gravity. A silence generated between them as he raked his fingers through the fluffy, two-toned mane. Gentle, soothing strokes he hoped would entice him to share whatever else was weighing on him. Slowly but surely, he heard the other man's breathing even out, his shoulders relaxing to press into his chest. He was thinking about it. Maybe one more nudge would do the trick.

"You'll feel better when it's not in your head alone. If it's a problem, you know I'll help you brainstorm how you're going to handle it. If you want my input, that is. Or I can just listen and you get it off your conscience. Whatever you need."

"I'll tell you," Bokuto replied after a pause, twisting one of the blankets between his fingers. Kuroo heard the pout in his voice that he couldn't see, and it only heightened his suspicions. He dropped his hand back to a perch on the other man's waist.

"Don't laugh, okay? I made a mistake and it's only going to cause a big mess of things." He stalled again then, squeezing the fabric clasped inside his palm in a fit of self-directed frustration. "No, it already has."

"What kind of mess? Did you get in trouble with the label? Though I can't imagine why; they should've loved the response from that concert."

"Thanks, man. I think they will too, but it's this other thing that happened that they probably won't like. I'm afraid to turn my phone on today because my boss is an asshole when I mess up."

Tetsurou tightened the hold he had around Bokuto's midsection, his own fears simmering on the back burner. He was curious, but a thousand times more concerned about the gravity of this mystery problem. Bokuto overreacted at times, that was nothing new, but this didn't feel like one of those occasions. He was too downtrodden, and if praising him on his work on the performance wasn't enough to alleviate that, even if they were two separate events, that was worrisome.

"Yeah, I remember. That's why Akaashi usually talks to him for you, right? Why not have him do it this time?"

"'Kaash doesn't know about this yet, so he can't bail me out."

Bokuto squirmed in his arms restlessly, and loath as he was to let go, Tetsurou figured it was better that he did. Trying to put a damper on his spastic energy without solving the cause never worked. And until he knew what had driven Bokuto into the mood he was in, he couldn’t calm him down, simple as that.

For the next minute they focused on reassembling themselves on the couch, sitting up so that they were shoulder-to-shoulder and distributing the blankets fairly between them. Only then did he press the issue.

“I can’t help you out either if you don’t tell me what happened.”

“I know, I know, I just feel stupid when I think about it.”

“You’re not stupid. I bet it’s not even that bad. Come on, just tell me.”

“No laughing at me when I do?” Bokuto sized him up, golden orbs piercing in their intensity.

“I’ve laughed at you many times in our lives, but never when you couldn’t take it,” Tetsurou reassured, slinging an arm around his shoulder and patting the other side. “I can tell you’re stressed, so believe me, no laughing here, buddy.”

His declaration seemed adequate, because Bokuto soon unlinked their gazes and a moment after that, he began to recount his story.

“You know how the radio station has guests on for interviews in the evenings? There were a couple people there for that before I performed, but they stuck around to watch. Which was totally nice, I mean they didn’t have to! But after I was done with my set-”

Tetsurou sunk his fingers into the muscle of his arm, encouraging him onward.

“They were actors, and one of them talked to me, even after his friends took off. At first he was nice, but then he kept saying we should hook up, or I could give him my number. I was gonna say no but he kept interrupting me and I panicked.”

“Wait, was he a creep? Bo, is this guy pressuring you or anything?”

“No, no, it’s not like that! I know what it sounds like, but let me finish!”

Tetsurou sunk deeper into the cushions, willing himself to be patient. So far he didn’t like the tone of this tale, and well, he’d always had a knack for being overprotective when it came to Bokuto. Who hardly needed his protection, physically, and maybe just a little advice with emotional stuff. Bokuto's biggest problem was that he was too pure-hearted, too open. He didn’t say no often enough and consequently wasn’t great at doing so when he needed to.

“Like I said, he kept interrupting. For a second I thought maybe he was that type, who doesn’t let you turn them down, and I-” If Bokuto hadn’t been cagey earlier in the conversation, Tetsurou would mark that as the moment where he started acting off in full force. “I might’ve lied a little.”

“White lies are perfectly all right. What did you tell him?” he prompted, carefully tracking the quickened cadence of Bokuto’s breathing. Nervous, he was nervous, but why? It was doubtful he spun any story that was bad enough to warrant this reaction.

“That I already have a boyfriend.”

He’d made a promise, Tetsurou reflected, but that revelation tested it because his first instinct upon hearing it was to laugh.

Pulling himself together though, he shook his head, biting back the surge of amusement.

“That’s probably the oldest excuse in the book for getting rid of unwanted suitors. I don’t think you did anything wrong. In fact, nice job for letting him down easy.”

“ _He's_ not the problem.”

“Oh?”

“I guess there was a reporter there who heard us talking. And he asked me all these questions about my ‘boyfriend’ and at the time I said whatever I could think of… and basically I ended up saying I’m bringing him to that charity concert coming up soon. But I don’t have a boyfriend. And that reporter was an asshole anyway! There’s a story in the tabloids now about it and everything!”

The arm that Tetsurou had slung around him went limp as he tried to process the torrent of words. Something about a fake boyfriend, and a concert, and an article written by an opportunistic paparazzi. Apparently his best friend had a more eventful night than he’d realized.

Frowning, he picked it apart in his mind, trying to figure out what to address. What had seemed like an open and shut case of Bokuto flipping out about something for no good reason had morphed into an actual issue. A professional issue, for him, because something like this would definitely have an impact on his public image.

And whether he chose to embrace it or deny it, how the masses perceived it was ultimately out of his control.

“...Do you want to be out to everyone? That’s probably the first thing you should think about. You can deny whatever this reporter guy wrote if you don’t want people to know who you’re attracted to. Or you can roll with it, and make the best out of the circumstances that you’ve been given.”

Bokuto screwed up his face, as if considering the options was particularly unpleasant. Not that Kuroo blamed him, because having to to make such a huge choice on a moment’s notice wasn’t fair. He shouldn’t have had to, but for someone in his career, keeping a tight control on your personal life was nearly impossible.

“It was probably bound to happen,” he quipped sullenly. “I’ve never had any girlfriends that they know of. A model asked me out once, though! After my first awards show, but I turned her down. My producer said I should’ve dated her, because it’d look good for both of us, but who even does that?”

“Lots of people who want to get ahead,” Tetsurou answered honestly.

Laughing humorlessly, he watched the expressions swirl over his friend’s face as he lost himself in his thoughts. They ranged from pained to reflective to resigned. When he surfaced, it was with a weary sigh and a shrug that seemed to zap whatever remained of his strength.

"I guess I don't care if people know about me. But you know the executives will, since some people will boycott my stuff. Less money for them. They always talk about how to make it more appealing and I don't think this'll help."

Another sigh, and Bokuto slumped against his shoulder, cheek squishing against the curve of it. Kuroo lifted his lips in a sympathetic smile. Bokuto looked tired now, which was only a little better than worried, but he was still glad that he'd come up a few notches in mood. It never felt good for him seeing Bokuto in that condition, especially when he didn't have any advice to cure it. What his friend was dealing with was the type of storm a person just had to weather; there wasn't really a perfect way to handle it or make it disappear.

If there was, they would've been pursuing that course from the moment he'd told him about everything.

"Anyway, that royally sucks. Does Akaashi know about the tabloid article yet?"

"...I'm not sure. He said he was going to be really busy this morning and not to call him unless it was an emergency. So maybe he hasn't checked the news or anything! He's getting a massage."

The gears in Tetsurou's brain clanked abruptly, scenes of a week or two ago filling the forefront of his memory. Scenes he hadn't forgotten no matter how much he probably ought to try to forget. But it wasn't his fault that what he'd walked in on was extraordinarily memorable. No, the blame lay solely at the perpetrators' feet. Who definitely should've known better than to choose the locale they did.

"Yeah," he paused, swallowing back the nervous laugh bubbling in his throat, "You never happened to catch that masseuse's name, right?"

"No?" Bokuto seemed confused by the question, but seconds later a spark bloomed to life in his eyes. A misguided spark, as it turned out, because the next words out of his mouth were, "Why, is your back hurting? Maybe I'll ask him if his masseuse can do you too. Next time I talk to him!"

"NO!" he blurted out on impulse. Wide golden eyes zoned in on him, positively befuddled. Tetsurou backtracked, smoothing down his hair. "I mean, the people who do it for money are rough. Like the ones that walk on your back. It's too intense for me."

Mollified by that explanation, his friend nodded.

"They're kinda scary, but then again I think Akaashi kind of likes it rough. Otherwise it doesn't help him at all."

Wisely, Tetsurou opted to remain silent. Bokuto wasn't wrong, but he wasn't about to alert him to his stroke of genius either.

“Swinging right back around to the point, what _are_ you gonna do?”

“About what?”

“The charity concert thing, obviously. That you’re going to with your secret boyfriend,” Kuroo elaborated, tone more clipped than it had to be. But he was worried, so that was going to manifest somewhere. He didn’t want a simple lie to blow up in Bokuto’s face and ruin his career. He worked too hard and loved music too deeply to have his dreams ended by a romantic scandal that was imaginary to begin with. That would be irritatingly stupid.

Bokuto's golden eyes flitted his direction, and he shifted, cheek squishing more forcefully against his shoulder. Kuroo marveled at how he wasn't uncomfortable sitting like that, but let the thought filter off. It was kind of cute, anyway, if not for the pouty expression that accompanied the shift.

After came another lull in their conversation, Bokuto's brain hard at work once more. When he came out of the trance, it was with a loud snap of his fingers.

"Hey, maybe I can get Akaashi to fake date me!" he said, adding enthusiastically, "Some of my fans ship us anyway, I saw it on the internet!"

Kuroo grimaced. That was definitely not an option. For more reasons than one, not that he could necessarily share some of the reasons with Bokuto. Not without landing himself in a ton of hot water.

Besides, even if Akaashi was available, he doubted he would be too thrilled about the proposition. Though, if he had to pick anyone, Akaashi wasn't a bad choice. He could be trusted with someone sensitive like his buddy tended to be; he was a gentle, but firm hand. And he'd had plenty of experience handling Bokuto both in the past and now in the present as his manager. But dating him was a whole other animal, and more importantly, a no-go.

"I don't think that's gonna work."

A puzzled glance broadcasted at him from the side.

"Why not?"

The lines on Tetsurou's face deepened at the refrain. Try as he might to grapple with the idea of just _telling_ Bokuto why that wasn't something he could do, he couldn't bring himself to spill the beans. 

When he'd found out about Akaashi and Kenma's relationship, it had been through less than conventional means, and due to that, he'd been blackmailed into secrecy. Apparently, they'd had no intention of coming clean themselves until they were "ready to deal with the consequences from you two." Whatever that meant.

In any case, he wasn't allowed to divulge said information, and he wouldn't. As much as he loved Bokuto, Kenma and he had a bond that went way back. Little kids sleeping together at naptime way back. He wouldn't mess with that over something harmless like who was dating who.

"I don't think he'd agree to that," Kuroo settled for saying, "Akaashi's busy cleaning up all your other messes and handling your career. Don't make him date you too. He'd probably like a night off, maybe getting another massage or something-" He then winced at the memories that were triggered, shaking his head slightly to wave them away. 

Next to him, Bokuto hummed as he thought through the advice, eyes staring straight ahead without really looking at anything. It took him a few moments to concede the point.

"He deserves a night off."

Then there was silence, capped off by a small frown as he continued to ponder the issue. Rather than jumping in to fill it, Tetsurou waited, instinct telling him that Bokuto had more to say, and that rushing him wasn't the way to handle it.

"I just... I thought he'd be good because I trust him. I can't ask a stranger to do this, or someone who might actually like me, you know? Has to be someone who I know doesn't have feelings for me, so they don't get their hopes up or anything."

"Oh, so you know about Akaashi then?" Tetsurou stated. A moment later he clenched his lips shut. Dammit. He wasn't supposed to say even that much!

"Know what?"

The way Bokuto said it was innocent, which only confirmed his own blunder in bringing it up.

"He's uh... dating someone. I can't say who though, it's a secret. I'm just surprised, I always kinda wondered if you had a crush on him since you guys are so close."

"Oho? No, Akaashi's the man! But I don't want him to be my man." Bokuto smiled easily, and it only grew broader as he began to whine, "But come on Tetsu, who's he dating? Just tell me-! Is the guy pretty too? Does he treat him good? I gotta know these things!"

"Don't worry about it, the guy's great. But I can't tell you who it is; he'll tell you himself when he's ready."

Bokuto looked at him sullenly.

"Not telling you, Bo. But, hey," he started, mouth moving at the same rate as the idea formed in his head, "why don't I do it? I mean, we're friends, so I love you, but it wouldn't be awkward, right?" 

It might have been a trick of the eyes, but in that moment he thought he saw a shadow of apprehension cross Bokuto's face. Surprise, at the very least, but whatever it was or wasn't, it disappeared before he could tell. When it did, Bokuto leaned forward in his seat, all enthusiasm.

"You'd really date me?"

"Sure, why not? Just as long as you don't expect me to put out or anything, we're fine."

"That might be a deal breaker!"

Tetsurou arched a brow and selected his most business-like tone. "Do you want a fake boyfriend or not?"

"I do, I do!"

Patting Bokuto on the shoulder, he just grinned.

"You owe me food for this."

 

* * *

 

"This show is so terrible, I don't know why I watch it. I mean look at the production quality!" Tetsurou gestured at the screen vigorously as the episode's background music took a swerve from elevator-worthy to sleazy.

Beside him, Bokuto munched on the popcorn they were sharing, dropping a few kernels when he decided to nod in agreement. Once his mouth was empty, he opened it, chiming, "But all of the characters are really interesting! Like when Jin and his secretary Takara were trapped in the freezer at her ex-husband's restaurant while the old guy was whacked in the front room. When is that ever gonna happen in real life?!"

"I still can't believe they didn't try to huddle together for warmth. Heck, I was expecting that to come up. Their romantic tension is off the charts and it was the perfect opportunity. Honestly," Tetsurou sighed, reaching over to snatch a bite.

"If you're that disappointed, you could always huddle with me. I'm plenty warm!"

Casting an amused glance his friend's way, he was greeted by the sight of Bokuto waggling his eyebrows rather aggressively, arms spread wide in invitation. For a moment or two, Kuroo held back a laugh, but then he gave into the spontaneity of the suggestion.

Relegating the popcorn bowl to the coffee table, he scooted closer and swung a leg over him, climbing onto his lap. Bokuto's arms squeezed him around the middle in a back-breaking embrace, and that was what forced the laughter out of him at last, the sounds tickling his stomach as he wheezed.

"Geez, you're gonna burst my spleen using that much pressure!" he said once he had the breath for it, bracing his palms on Bokuto's shoulders. "Ease up!"

Slowly, some of the force disappeared and he sunk into his perch more comfortably. Behind him, the television continued playing the drama they'd been watching, but Kuroo was content to sit there listening, but not seeing. It wasn't like it wasn't a cozy place to be. Bokuto was muscular and could only be described as beefy, but his body was more than soft enough to cuddle into for a couple of hours. 

A couple of hours. Huh, they'd been watching stuff that long after all.

"It's been a week. Aren't we supposed to be going out on dates or something, so the paparazzi get footage? I thought that was part of the plan, so that they see me and make the connection?"

"Oh yeah, probably! But we can do that later. I think 'Kaash said he had other stuff in mind, so going out too much would make it seem like we were staging something."

Tetsurou absorbed the answer. It made sense, although he did wonder about what the other plans were.

"I'm just surprised he was so cool with it when you told him what happened with the reporter. From what you told me, he didn't even flinch. Then again, Akaashi's always been a cool cucumber, hasn't he?"

"He did sigh a little! But yeah, mostly he didn't get angry, especially when I told him you volunteered to be my boyfriend."

Kuroo dropped his head onto the other man's shoulder, letting himself relax to the fullest extent.

As he rested there, he tried to picture what the conversation must've been like. At this rate, he'd be surprised if Akaashi was surprised by anything Bokuto did. He wasn't always getting into trouble or anything, but he was such a capricious person that you rarely knew what to expect from him. That was partly why he wondered how the two of them got along so well, but from what he could see, Akaashi just prepared for the worst and tried not to have any binding expectations for Bokuto. Which nine times out of ten, worked.

"Well I am like your only friend other than him, Bo."

"Rude!" he shot back, giving Kuroo's waist a reproving squeeze. "I'll have you know I'm very popular!"

"Yep, with all those sexy grandmas and housewives, they adore you," Tetsurou teased lightly.

"My fans are all awesome, so shut it. I meant I have other friends than you. Like, I could've totally asked Kenma to do this!"

Tetsurou snorted.

"I can confidently say that Kenma would be a terrible candidate for this. Not to mention he'd say no."

"He might say yes! I'd probably have to buy him stuff though."

"No, dude, he'd say no, trust me. And not just because he wouldn't like being on camera. If it was just that, then maybe he'd do it as a favor for you. But the way things are, no."

Bokuto sighed loudly, exaggerating the sound to let his exasperation shine through.

"Guess I'm stuck with you."

Pulling back, Tetsurou made a face.

"Hey now, be grateful! I'm doing this for free!"

"You did ask for food," Bokuto reminded him with a coy little smirk.

"Which I got today," he continued, poking one of his friend's cheeks in retribution, "but I'm still here, carrying out my end of the bargain for nothing at all out of the kindness of my heart."

Bokuto caught his outstretched hand and grabbed onto it.

"Yeah, thanks," he said, a bit more seriously. "I'm lucky to have you."

Giving his hand a faint squeeze, Kuroo then freed his, resting it against the sofa behind them. Bokuto returned his to steadying him on his lap, and for a moment they were quiet.

"Also it doesn't hurt that my fake man is so cool," Bokuto started again with gusto, "And has great taste in shows."

"Laying it on thick maybe, but your compliments fuel me."

"Neat hair too, even if it's natural."

"...Not everyone shares that opinion, so thanks I guess."

"You're beautiful!"

Kuroo chuckled, letting it ripple off into a smile as Bokuto pressed their foreheads together. Glancing down at him, he laughed again before saying, "C'mon, you don't have to lie. Good job practicing your complimenting skills though."

"I'm not lying."

"...Oh. Well, that's nice then," he answered, not knowing what else to say to that.

It wasn't the first and probably wouldn't be the last compliment he'd ever received from him, but then again, Bokuto was a charmer. Never to butter people up, he just said whatever was honestly on his mind, whether that was that he liked what they'd done with their hair that day, or if he saw them working really hard at something, he'd acknowledge the effort.

Still, the line caught him somewhere vulnerable, working its way into his consciousness and sticking there. It grew harder to maintain their eye contact, but so much easier to notice the splay of Bokuto's hand on his lower back, stationary but firm. Tetsurou swallowed down a little of the nerves that prickled at him then, determinedly staring back at Bokuto.

Only to have his pulse stir anxiously when his friend reciprocated the gaze, eyes descending toward his li-

The door of the living room swung open, then the hinge creaking loudly.

Scuttling back quickly, Kuroo repressed the sigh of relief that threatened to leave him.

The interruption was grating - the door was new and in his opinion, needed to have the hardware oiled, but having someone come in was an icebreaker. One that he'd sorely needed, because the hell if he knew why he stared into Bokuto's eyes and suddenly wasn't able to function. All he knew was it was weird, and needed to be stopped. Thus, the convenient door opening.

"It's time to go to work, Bokuto-san."

Akaashi materialized in the doorway, looking utterly fed up with something. Something that Tetsurou imagined they'd soon come to hear about.

Giving them both a glance over, Akaashi stopped where he stood.

"Am I interrupting anything?" he said, gaze turning to land pointedly on Kuroo.

"Nope, just hanging out!" Bokuto supplied, loosening his grip so that they could break apart on the couch, returning to their original seats.

Whatever he might have thought was the truth, Akaashi decided not to comment on it, instead referencing the tablet he had nestled in the crook of one arm.

"You two will be doing a photoshoot to promote your relationship. The article will run in the magazine that is a direct competitor to the magazine that published the original story about Bokuto-san's secret paramour."

"Wait, hold on, we're doing what now?"

"All you have to do is pose for a few simple pictures. I've already consulted with a publicist as far as what your answers will be for the interview portion of the article, so you won't have to lift a finger on that end. The goal of the article is to give people a more _wholesome_ ," Akaashi paused, the faintest trace of sarcasm detectable to Tetsurou's ears, "alternative to read about than some illicit affair."

Beside him, Bokuto was nodding his head.

"So we're taking the pictures showing we're dating and that we're happy and stuff?" he said.

"Yes," Akaashi confirmed. "Basically that you are a normal couple like any other."

"Sounds easy."

Kuroo murmured in agreement, watching as a few other people filtered into the room, trailing camera equipment and lighting props. By the looks of it, the whole thing was more an order than a request; he doubted they would've been able to back out if they'd wanted to.

"And these will be your outfits-" Akaashi continued, pointing at the rack of clothes that one of the assistants had wheeled into the room. 

"Akaashi!!" Bokuto gasped, looking incredibly affronted.

His manager glanced at him without an ounce of sympathy, dissecting the problem, and when he knew it, his voice then grew firm, authoritative.

"You aren't wearing a shirt that says 'my heart will go  _owl_ n' in this magazine spread, Bokuto-san. You need to look like a professional to be treated as one, even if this is something to do with your personal life."

The reprimand seemed to have the desired effect, because after a few moments of contemplation, Bokuto gave up on fighting it. Rising to his feet, he hurried across the room to check the contents of the hangers.

"What about me?" Tetsurou chimed in, gesturing at his outfit. If he had to say so himself, he was respectably dressed.

"You need to wear something that complements what he's wearing. I'd also say to do something with your hair, but that's not remotely fixable, is it, Kuroo-san?"

He did a double-take. Was it him imagining things or was he just sassed?

"Okay," he responded neutrally, deciding to brush off that last comment, "So what kind of poses are we doing?"

"I have that covered too."

Not exactly the most forthcoming or encouraging answer, but it was what he had. Kuroo shrugged and shifted his gaze to where the clothes rack was, just in time to see Bokuto tangle himself in the sleeves of a sweater, wiggling around futilely to try and straighten things out.

Taking pity on him, Kuroo strode over and stopped him by placing a hand on where his abs lay exposed. His first thought was that the skin there was surprisingly warm and supple. 

Only a second later did he realize that he probably could have gotten his attention some other way. His hand had just kind of moved on its own for some reason though, so he wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. Bokuto had stopped squirming, which was the goal.

"Let me help you."

Reaching up, he guided the fabric around so that Bokuto's hands and head slid through the correct openings. 

Across the room, Akaashi cleared his throat loudly. The expression on his face might've been a smile, but it unnerved him too much to call it one.

"This shouldn't take long at all."

**. . . . .**

Tetsurou was certain he was going to have a headache. So far they had taken only a few measly photos, and already he was seeing spots before him and could feel a dull pounding behind his eyes. If that wasn’t irritating enough, Akaashi constantly hounding him about how he was never in the correct pose made for a close second on the list of annoyances.

"Loosen up your arms. You're holding onto him affectionately, not putting him in a headlock."

The couple sighed for what had to be the hundredth time, and once more revised their positions. Bokuto had done numerous photoshoots throughout his career, and by that logic, should have easily fallen into step. But even he was struggling with the concept of having someone in his embrace and working around them.

Whenever they thought they had it correct, they were instantly scolded on how their posture was too stiff, or they didn’t seem into it, or how Kuroo looked like he was ready to choke him rather than lovingly embrace him. Frankly, Tetsurou wanted to quit, or at least for Akaashi to understand that he'd never done something like this before. He was clueless, so of course he wasn't going to be the perfect model and know how a pose ought to be executed.

Coming into it, he hadn’t expected it to be simple, but the amount of work it was taking to obtain what was supposed to be a quick set of photos was ridiculous.

Akaashi looked confounded, and he shook his head as he surveyed them that time.

"Honestly," he began to gripe, "I'm surprised you need this much instruction. The two of you are always doing these sorts of things when you're hanging out. Can't you draw on a little of that as inspiration? Especially you, Kuroo-san, you need to relax. Bokuto-san is at least putting in an effort to make it look natural."

Tetsurou groaned. “I’m trying, okay. I’m not used to being in the spotlight like Bo is!”

“Fine, then. Let’s try another. This one should be a bit easier, but nothing will be if you don’t calm down.”

He resisted the urge to heave another sigh, and instead nodded curtly, trying to distract himself with something other than what was transpiring at the moment.

“Bokuto-san, hold onto Kuroo-san’s arm,” Akaashi instructed, and just as soon, he amended, “No, not like that. Put one of your hands a bit lower and wrap the other around his arm.”

Bokuto shrugged and nudged more to the side. Doing as he was told, he firmly locked his grip into place. He offered a grin at Kuroo, who was staring at him blankly in return, before listening to their next set of instructions. This seemed like an easy pose, so maybe Akaashi was finally settling on less complex shots, especially for two people who weren’t used to posing with other people.

Or one who wasn’t used to posing at all.

“Good. Now, Kuroo-san, turn to the left so you’re facing Bokuto-san a bit, and bend your head slightly.”  

A strange request, but Akaashi was the guy with the plan. There was no need to argue otherwise. So he did as he was told and faced Bokuto, feeling as though it was similar to another position they had done. Or at least it seemed that way, until the next words out of Akaashi’s mouth caught him completely off guard.  

“Now close your eyes and pretend to kiss Bokuto-san’s forehead.”

At the abrupt and unexpected request, the two of them snapped apart, nearly clunking heads as they stumbled into one another.

“Wait, what?” Kuroo wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly. “I have to do what?”

That was supposed to be easier? How was that one any easier than the poses they had done so far? If anything, it was going to be even more difficult!

He was having a hard time relaxing as it was, and something like that was only going to add more stress to everything. There was no way he’d be able to go through with this when they had a difficult enough time with a simple arm linking pose.

“Er, ‘Kaashi,” Bokuto laughed gingerly, “Isn’t that a bit-”

“You’re supposed to be a couple.” Akaashi’s mien was unapologetic. “You’re going to have to do something like this, and it shouldn’t be difficult with how close you two already are.”

“Well, yeah!” Bokuto shot, “But it’s not like we’ve done something like that! I think.”

Tetsurou, on the other hand had grown pensive. Sure, they were a tiny bit more affectionate than the average friends, but they were close, weren’t they? It was perfectly natural for best friends to behave the way they did. But this, this was beginning to cross a line, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to do it.

“It’s one photo.” Akaashi sounded exasperated, as if he hadn't expected any kickback. “Do you two want to look like you mean something to each other, or not? This is only a photoshoot, though. If you want to be believable, you’ll eventually have to act like this when you're in public.”

The two glanced at one another. He was right about one thing. If they couldn’t deal with a couple of intimate poses, how were they going to face the public? In here, they were still concealed from judgement, but anywhere else, like the concert they were attending in the near future, they had to pass scrutiny. If this was going to work out, they were going to have to push aside any insecurities and doubts they may have felt.

Slowly, Kuroo bent his head, eyes reluctantly sealing, and lips stopping only a few inches from the other man's forehead; enough to seem as though they were somehow touching. Hearing nothing aside from the sound of Bokuto tapping his foot, he cracked his eyes open to stare down at him. He was fidgeting, which inspired an annoyed huff from the one next to the camera.

“Bokuto-san, you need to smile. Kuroo-san, at least look like you’re enjoying this.” Akaashi paused when he noticed something else was amiss. “And close your eyes fully.”

Akaashi tried not to cringe at the wrinkled forehead as Kuroo squeezed his eyes shut, or at the over-dazzling smile Bokuto had plastered on.

“Close enough. All right. One… two… three.”

_Click._

“Again,” was the weary response a moment later, "You moved.”

_Click._

“That was… acceptable. Let’s move onto the next.” He had witnessed happier expressions on people who were jet-lagged. 

Per his request, the camera then angled in another direction. Tetsurou looked at his partner, as though waiting for an indication of what they were meant to do. Bokuto seemed as clueless as he, but with one more glance, they slowly but awkwardly began to separate from one another.

"Face each other head on and get close. Bokuto-san, place your arms around his waist first and then he'll hold onto you from there."

Acting on impulse, he wrapped his arms around Bokuto once they were standing together like he would any given day when they hugged. Nothing about that should be weird, he theorized, and yet he felt the camera practically burning a hole into him while they were intertwined. Burying his head into the crook of Bokuto's shoulder lessened the intrusive feeling somewhat, but his pulse continued to race. 

"That's not bad, but the pose I'm going for is you two looking at each other. Stare deep into his eyes, like you mean it. Like you don't want to look away. Remember, you love each other."

Tetsurou arched a brow, barely repressing the annoyed twitch of his eye.

This charade was getting far too out of hand for his liking, and he couldn't help but suspect that a few of the instructions were more a form of payback than they were necessary. And why was he in trouble? It wasn't like he meant to walk in on them, it was an accident! Totally not his fault that he'd caught Akaashi in a compromising position, and beyond that, it wasn't like he'd wanted to see any of it. So why the guy was bent on being a conniving little shit escaped him, it really did.

He tapped out of the embrace he was locked in, turning to address Akaashi.

"Isn't this overkill, Akaashi? Doubt it looks natural if we're making gross googly-eyes at each other. People don't want to look at that."

"Aww you don't want to gaze into my beautiful eyes?" cooed Bokuto, batting what sparse eyelashes he had at him.

"Some people will enjoy it," Akaashi stated pointedly, and the slight quirk to his lips inflamed Tetsurou's indignation. What the hell?!

"Just listen to 'Kaashi, Kuroo, he knows what he's doing."

Tetsurou glowered at their taskmaster for the day. Somehow, he would get retribution for this. Sure, it would involve circumventing Kenma and hoping he didn't piss him off in the attempt, but he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. So long as he didn't do anything outrageous, Kenma would probably remain neutral anyway. Tetsurou doubted that the two of them shacking up together had changed him to the point where he'd willingly put himself in the middle of an argument.

"Yeah he knows exactly what he's doing, all right," he grumbled.

"Then you should quiet down and pose, Kuroo-san," Akaashi remarked, and he heard the taunt that went unaired loud and clear.

But because he wisely feared his oldest friend's wrath, he wasn't going to do anything to break his promise to him to not expose them as a couple, and that meant zipping his lips no matter what Akaashi threw at him. Which Akaashi undoubtedly knew, which was why he was being so flagrant about it in the first place.

Tetsurou caged in an aggravated sigh.

Akaashi was generally an okay guy. He made Kenma happy, and they'd all been friends for many years before that development. But sometimes the kid stepped on his last nerve, and this was one of those times.

It was bad enough having to go through this sham of a photoshoot, opening themselves up in ways that he'd rather not. Even if it achieved the goal of making Bokuto's - albeit fake - same-sex relationship seem more wholesome and palatable for the masses, there were still going to be people who'd hate him for being different. He didn't want him to have to deal with scum like that, but here they stood. It was too late for misgivings. If this could influence even a few more people positively, maybe it wasn't a terrible idea.

Turning back toward Bokuto, his expression softened. Ever since they'd agreed to go on this adventure, he'd seemed so lighthearted, brighter than he was normally, if that was possible. Maybe it was being out in the open that was giving him that joy. Not having to hide something so huge about yourself had to be a relief.

Bokuto fluttered his lashes again when he caught his gaze. Tetsurou tilted his head back and laughed at the ridiculousness of it.

That time he didn't even register the click of the camera. 

**. . . . .**

"There's one more shot I think you two should do."

He didn't even try to hide his sigh. Entertaining as the shenanigans had been once he'd relaxed, they'd been at it for hours, and both he and Bokuto were wondering where their peaceful day off had gone. And if they'd be able to reclaim what little of it they had left.

"And what's that? I think we've got more than enough footage for a lifetime, can't we just call it a day?"

"I hate to break it to you," Akaashi began, and the way he said it made Tetsurou bristle with suspicion, "but a kiss would seal the deal here. Otherwise you two could be very good friends falsifying a relationship."

"That is literally exactly what's going on here," he parried, overcome by an urgency he couldn't name. "The pictures are fine how they are."

Ignoring his protests, Akaashi circled to ask the third participant in the room. "Bokuto-san?"

Bokuto didn't answer straight away. At first he seemed to be blinking in surprise, but that quickly was replaced with his standard smile. Tetsurou watched as they seemed to have a conversation without words; it wasn't for nothing that he'd once teased Akaashi about having telepathic powers when it came to his former captain. Whatever they were discussing, it was settled soon enough.

"I don't mind if you don't. It's only one time," Bokuto said. The smile didn't quite reach his eyes, but if that was nerves, resignation, or something else, Tetsurou couldn't tell. He just knew he didn't care for whatever it was if it painted him with such uncharacteristic emotions.

' _This is for his career. It'll make the people who matter get off of his back. I can handle this_ ,' he told himself to build up his courage. After all what was one little peck? Nothing that he needed to stress over, that was for sure. Tetsurou didn't even know why he was questioning it.

"All right, we can do that."

Akaashi nodded at the two of them, turning back to the cameraman to dictate how he wanted the shot done.

Kuroo looked across at Bokuto, trying to think of how to accomplish the task set before him. What would be an appropriate kiss, given the situation? Could they settle for something on the cheek, or was that too distant? He seriously doubted it could be anything too wild because that would give the opposite impression of what they wanted the readers to feel.

Maybe something suitable for a first date? He didn't know how long they were supposed to have been together for; apparently it would be in the article though, according to Akaashi. With that lead in mind, he tried to picture the last first date he'd been on. Granted he didn't always kiss on the first date exactly, but--

Tetsurou frowned as his brain came to a grinding halt.

Wait, had it really been that long? As in more than a year long since he'd gone out with anyone?

' _Well_ ,' he thought blandly, ' _my social life pretty much consists of three people apart from my college buddies, and two of them are dating each other, so..._ ' Okay, maybe it wasn't that shocking in retrospect. 

Shaking himself out of his daze, he looked up to spy Bokuto mere steps away. And gaining every second. He felt ice surge through his veins and his body rapidly froze in place. He couldn't have moved right then if he wanted to.

Kissing him then was probably as appealing as kissing a brick wall.

Kuroo knew he must have been pulling a face, and all the panic bells inside him were blaring from the lack of warning.

Stiffly, he tried to return the kiss, hands grasping awkwardly onto the front of Bokuto's shirt, almost as though he wanted to shove him away instead. Bokuto seemed to sense that right off the bat - soon he was pulling back. Their gazes linked and Tetsurou tried his best to mold his features into something that didn't seem too negative. But below the surface, he was brimming with countless second thoughts. 

"You could try not looking like you're about to have an aneurysm, Kuroo-san."

Akaashi's voice lofted their way and made him glance over, breaking the tense bubble he'd been enveloped in. Tetsurou was torn between equally pressing desires - revenge, and thanking him, because for a second there he'd thought his head was going to pop off for some indiscernible reason.

"Relax, okay?" Bokuto garnered his attention again, Tetsurou revolving to face him.

Setting the example, Bokuto seemed perfectly at peace, neither smiling nor frowning. Patient, maybe, but whatever it was made him take a big breath. He could do this. It shouldn't even be that stressful to begin with. One kiss with someone who was his best friend anyway. Nothing weird about that; they were pretty affectionate as things were, so taking it one step further was no big deal. He could handle it, Kuroo coached himself.

Composing himself, he nodded as if to signal he was ready.

Going about it for the second time was both better and worse.

Time dragged on sluggishly, and after what seemed like at least ten solid minutes, Bokuto was close again, hands raising to cup his jaw. That was... really new. Heat bloomed beneath his fingertips, pinkening the skin in a broad flush. Kuroo was less tense this time, but it didn't stop him from glancing intently at him long after he should have shut his eyes.

Bokuto was really close that time, and something in the way their lips brushed was softer, cautious and ungreedy. Sinking into the kiss, he closed off his gaze and tried to let go. ' _No big deal_ ,' Tetsurou repeated inwardly. But then Bokuto murmured a note of approval against his mouth and the mantra lost its potency. His pulse stuttered in his chest and unconsciously he parted his lips, letting it deepen the slightest bit.

Bokuto's hands guided him down and in the same instant he surged forward, applying more pressure as he slotted their mouths together one last time. Then with the abruptness of an alarm, he backed off, releasing the grip he had on Tetsurou.

Which proved to be a bad idea with how dazed he felt in the wake of everything. It took him a moment to figure out how to stand up straight again, and the whole while his lips tingled from the loss.

When he regained use of his faculties, Kuroo wanted to kick something. Hard.

That had felt like way more of a big deal than he'd expected.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ah yes, this is precisely how I imagined our romantic night in."

Akaashi's tone was dry, and despite having his head sandwiched between several pillows, Kuroo could easily picture the frown he would've been sporting. But Akaashi hadn't stopped him from following him home in the first place, which meant he was allowing the intrusion. Even if he did feel the need to refer to it in such a prickly manner, which was uncalled for, but typical passive-aggressive behavior from his friend. So he paid it no mind.

Huffing, Tetsurou shifted where he was laying on the couch, feet sliding against the cushions restlessly. He was bunched up just the tiniest bit, the extra few inches he needed to accommodate his height unavailable. As he rearranged his limbs, Kenma took the opportunity to poke one of his shins. And not in a gentle way.

"Stop moving around, or sit up," he instructed testily, free hand clenched firmly around the television remote.

Tetsurou chanced a look out from his haven to glare at the blond.

"Well, if someone hadn't insisted on sitting on the couch and physically moved my feet to make room for himself..." he trailed off hotly, leaving the issue where it stood.

"It's my couch," Kenma said.

"I'm sulking. Go sit on your boyfriend's lap where there's room. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"You would mind if I did."

Eyes narrowing, Tetsurou picked himself up at a lumbering pace until he was sitting. He'd known Kenma long enough to hear a threat when it was delivered.

"By the way," he returned casually, "could you maybe get him to understand that day was an accident? I don't think he realizes it."

"I'm sitting right here, Kuroo-san."

"Nice calves though. Not that I was trying to look, granted, but he doesn't look half bad in a skirt and stockings."

"Still here, Kuroo-san," Akaashi groused from the chair to one side of them. His fingers tapped out a dangerous rhythm on the armrest. Tetsurou was just as aware of it as he was Kenma's flagging level of tolerance, but he wasn't in the frame of mind to worry about his self-preservation currently. Life was too far upside down for him to care.

Shifting away from the conversation, Kuroo allowed himself to brood some more. 

He'd made a single, seemingly benevolent choice, and it had ruined everything. Hell, he'd been trying to do something nice, and now if he couldn't get himself under control, he stood the risk of losing his best friend. He couldn't help but feel anxious about the possibility coming to fruition.

Pretending to date Bokuto to protect him from hordes of nosy reporters calling him a deviant had been a no brainer. They were close, after all, so what was the harm of getting involved in something silly to assure he wouldn’t be harassed each time he stepped out?

Apparently a lot.

It had been fine up until the photoshoot. If the initial poses hadn't been awkward enough, the last of them had shattered the perceptions he'd lived with for years. 

And it wasn’t anything simple that he could brush under the rug and ignore. No, he had kissed his best friend, _kissed_ his best friend. And it wasn’t one of their playful acts either… at least that’s not what it had seemed like to him. Because he had actually  _enjoyed_ it. He had kissed his best friend, enjoyed it, and now he was having mixed emotions about the ordeal. Feelings about his friend, feelings one shouldn’t have for their best friend.

He couldn’t indulge in them either, they were a dead end.

Bokuto didn’t like him that way. After all, they had been friends for so long, and if he did feel the way Tetsurou was feeling now, surely he would have confessed years ago. Besides, recently Bokuto had taken a liking to writing romantic songs. Something he'd never been known to do before, so it was quite possible he already had someone who inspired those ballads. Someone who wasn’t him. 

No, but then he’d be using them to ward off the paparazzi, wouldn’t he?

Or maybe he wouldn't want to put them in the spotlight, and having him play the role was more convenient. A human shield so that whoever it was that Bokuto liked could remain in the shadows, safe from scrutiny.

Kuroo wanted to bang his head repeatedly. Why was this so complicated, when it shouldn’t have been in the first place? When it was only meant to be a pretense to fool everyone around them, just a simple act of kindness?

“I can hear you thinking over here,” a voice interjected, “You’re making that face again.”

“Yes. I’m thinking,” Tetsurou grumbled from his end of the sofa.

Kenma tried not to roll his eyes. “Are you going to finally put us all out of our misery and date him?”

He nearly fell off the couch. “W-what? No! We’re only faking dating!” Kuroo’s shoulders slumped. “He wouldn’t date me for real, even if that’s what I wanted.”

Kenma briefly shot a glance toward Akaashi, who responded with a similarly exasperated expression. Then he leaned forward in his seat, ready to intervene.

“Bokuto-san loves you.” Akaashi’s tone was passive; this discussion was beginning to grate on him. Not only because it was circular and melodramatic, but because he knew it was unnecessary. “I’m fairly sure he would respond well if you were to confess to him.”

Kuroo wasn’t convinced. He whined and sprawled himself across the cushions, much to the irritation of the one sitting beside him.

“You don’t know that. Bo isn’t a secretive guy. He probably would have said something to me first. If it hasn’t happened after all these years, it’s not going to.” He paused to heave a dramatic sigh. “Because obviously, he sees me as a friend. That's it.”

Akaashi sighed, vaguely wondering what logic he could use to make the point stick with him. He peered over at his boyfriend, who only scowled in return. At this rate, they weren’t going to have their date night. Something they rarely had because of their busy schedules. Not if Kuroo was going to continue denying everything. There had to be some way to convince him, even if it meant saying words that had yet to be said by Bokuto himself.

“He likes you,” he proclaimed, “He doesn’t act that way around other people. Not the way he does when he’s with you.”

“But you’re too stupid to see that,” Kenma joined in, “If you paid attention, maybe you’d notice it for yourself.”

Tetsurou sat up long enough to glare at his friend, before resuming his inferior position.

“I take that back,” Kenma revised, “Both of you are stupid. Two idiots who are in love with each other and neither of you will confess.”

He ignored that, planting his face in the armrest.

Maybe they were right, but how would they know? Kuroo knew the other two were trying to help him… or get him off the couch… either or really, but as a whole it didn’t make any sense. He just couldn't reconcile Bokuto, the guy who perpetually wore his heart on his sleeve, with not being honest. Even if he thought he'd be rejected, Tetsurou wanted to believe he would have told him if he had feelings that ran deeper than friendship.

But there was one thing he certain of. He was in love with Bokuto. The only explanation he could think of was that he had been for a while, and the kiss made him realize it. That maybe all this time, they could've had that side to their relationship too and it wouldn't have changed anything for him. He'd never really, consciously wanted to kiss Bokuto, but if they hadn't been ordered to, Tetsurou doubted he would have hated kissing him if it had happened naturally. That was the only new epiphany for him. 

And maybe some part of his mind was smarter than the sum of him, and had kept him dim to what his feelings were. Because now that he was aware, he'd gained ten tons of stress. He couldn't go back from figuring out that he was in love. Things would never be the same. And if Bokuto didn't love him, he was screwed, their friendship was probably screwed, and life would suck.

Swallowing hard, he clenched his fist around one of the couch pillows. His heart was beating painfully fast; he'd never dealt with such an intense level of trepidation before.

That time Kenma rolled his eyes. “Just tell him anyway. Even if you think Bokuto doesn’t feel the same, what do you have to lose?”

Kuroo shot up rapidly.

“No way! I can’t do that. This is the worst time to tell him. I don't want to pressure him when he needs my support. I'd feel like I was taking advantage of the situation, or something. I don't want to do that to him.”

The conversation went stagnant for a few moments as the other two absorbed his answer.

“Well, what about after the concert?”

Kuroo pondered the suggestion. While it was going to be a huge event for Bokuto, at least afterwards would be a better time. If everything blew up, they could end it without the aftermath damaging his career. But then again, the reporters would be everywhere, most likely, and they’d have to continue their pretense for the rest of that night.

All in all though, it didn't sound like a bad idea. Maybe he could confess to Bokuto that he was no longer pretending, and that how he acted with him there was how he really felt. And maybe it would all come crashing down and he’d be the one responsible for destroying their friendship.

There were several ways it could go, but it was a risk he was almost willing to take. Kuroo nodded slowly, trying to rein in his jumbled nerves.

“… I’ll think about it.”

 

* * *

 

"Get in the car, Kuro."

"It's not a car, it's a _limo_ , Kenma. A limo!" Tetsurou hissed under his breath, hoping the driver wasn't able to hear what he was saying. Beside him, his oldest friend stood, looking extremely put out. Then again, he had been freaking out ever since he'd seen the vehicle pull up in front of his house. It had taken them awhile to even make their way outside, so Kenma was probably fed up with prodding him.

"There will be lots of limos at this thing, better get used to it now."

"But I'm going there in one. That's ridiculous," he emphasized, gesturing with his hands to try and drive the point home. Kenma stared at him, but his glaring lack of sympathy remained unchanged.

"Yeah, you are."

"I am...."

"And?"

"Fine," he conceded, heaving a great big sigh.

Sparing his companion one last petulant glance, he ducked quickly through the door into the back of the limo. Kenma followed him through and they found themselves seats. A short time later, they were in motion.

Eying the luxurious interior, he grimaced at the leather upholstery and the mini bar built into one wall. Alcohol was probably the worst solution for his problems right now, though, so he had no intention of delving into whatever was stocked inside it. He needed a clear head, and currently his was already fogged enough from worrying about how the evening would conclude. If he'd be walking out of the concert with his friendship in tact or not, never mind the possibility of gaining a boyfriend out of it.

One of his hands lowered to rest on his knee, fingers tapping against it restlessly.

Immediately next to him, Kenma groused out a sigh of his own. 

"Stop. Everything's going to be fine."

Tetsurou shifted, giving him a once over instead. Both of his hands were tucked neatly at his sides, and upon second inspection, they were empty. Which was pretty unusual. His gaze roamed higher, and to his shock, there weren't any visible bulges in either of his jacket pockets.

"You didn't bring your console?"

"I have my phone," Kenma answered evasively.

"But I don't see it?"

"...Keiji has my phone. For right now."

Kuroo snickered at that response, nudging his friend shoulder-to-shoulder. "Oho, so Akaashi isn't an enabler, then? That's good to hear."

"He doesn't cater to Bokuto's every whim either, so I don't know why you thought he would with me. I'll get it back later. After Bo's performance, probably."

"It won't hurt you to focus on that. So, why are you going again?"

"He invited me," Kenma answered, turning slightly away from him.

Tetsurou took the chance to study his profile, the grimace his lips then settled into, and the suit that hung off his slender frame awkwardly. Honestly, the notion of Kenma in formal wear was an odd notion for them both. Other than graduation, or some other big event where it was required, Kenma didn't do formal. 

Apart from that inconsistency, Tetsurou couldn't remember another time that Kenma had gone to one of the bigger shows without being dragged. And despite his lackluster answer, he seemed perfectly willing to be here tonight. Which meant there had to be something motivating him to make that sacrifice. Maybe he was reading too much into things, but Tetsurou didn't think that was a night out with his partner.

"Thanks for coming along," he said, as sincerely as he could manage with how nervous he sounded in general. "I'm glad you're here."

"Not doing it for you."

"I think you are, though."

"Am not."

"Are too." That time, he had to grin a little, noting the way Kenma's face pinched in agitation. Pretty much confirming his theory.

"Well whatever the reason is, I'm still glad." Tetsurou eased back into his seat, letting his head sink into the cushion behind it. "I'm really nervous."

"I know. But you don't have to be," Kenma retorted patiently.

"Hope that's true, but my anxiety tells me don't count on it."

"You'll be fine, Kuro. He likes you."

Stretching his legs out in front of him, he hummed noncommittally in response. It was the point for him where not thinking about why he was scared or what could go wrong was his best coping mechanism.

Beside him, Kenma fell silent again too. They passed the rest of the trip without words, content to feed off each other's presence as a source of calm. Worried as he was, ultimately he knew his friend had more reasons to dread heading out tonight. But he was there, and that was all he could ask of him. And more than he'd expected initially.

Many minutes later, the limo stopped out front of their destination.

Waiting just inside the building were their two counterparts, each garbed in their own suits. Bokuto's was off-white with golden buttons and a matching bow-tie, Akaashi's was charcoal with a pin-striped tie. It was evident from the moment he saw him, but the closer Tetsurou walked, the more his mind was fizzling out at the way the suit clung to Bokuto's frame. Accentuating the strength of his build, the breadth of his shoulders.

He looked insanely good in it. Kuroo knew him well enough to know that he probably hated being confined in it, but suits suited Bokuto, that was his take away. And it was a conclusion that inevitably spiked his heart rate. In the end he had to shift his gaze so he could keep his expression under control as they drew closer.

Only to have that control blown away when Bokuto engulfed him in a tight embrace, pressing them together in a way that he didn't need when two seconds ago he was suffering over how hot the guy looked.

Wheezing slightly from the force of the hug, he tapped Bokuto's back with his hand, signaling for him to ease up a little. When his friend retracted the gesture, he was met with a blinding grin.

"You clean up awesome, Kuroo!"

He chuckled a little, more nervous than genuine.

"You don't look bad yourself, Bo."

For a moment or two he felt Bokuto's gaze honed in on him, but then, thankfully, his attention drifted to the next new development.

"Kenma! What are you doing here?" he exclaimed, shooting the blond an ecstatic grin. "You came to watch me sing?"

"Sort of," Kenma replied several notches quieter. He glanced up at Akaashi coming to stand beside him, his features solidifying into a determined look.

"Actually, Bokuto-san, he's here this evening as my date."

Bokuto blinked several times in rapid succession, head jerking back and forth between the two of them. His eyes were wide, and if the situation were any less serious, Kuroo might have snickered at how truly owlish he looked then.

"Date?!"

"We're together. I apologize for not sharing that with you for this long. It's been a while," Akaashi clarified.

"Huh so it was Kenma- _kun_ who stole Akaashi's heart after all. I knew you had someone, 'Kaash. Kuroo told me!" He chimed gleefully once he regained some of his composure, and promptly elbowed Tetsurou in the side.

In that instant, he wasn't sure what hurt more - the impact of the blow, or the force of Akaashi's glare when he launched it at him.

"Ow, man, what vendetta do you have against my internal organs?!" Tetsurou hissed, hand rushing to shelter the damaged area. Then he turned back to face their friends, quickly assuring, "I didn't tell him on purpose! I didn't even tell him it was you two. It slipped out one night!"

"You had better be glad that I won't let _your_ secret slip," Akaashi interjected, narrowing his gaze.

"What secret?" Bokuto wondered, turning to look at him.

"Maybe Kuroo-san will tell you himself sometime, if he can handle it."

Tetsurou balked at that, jaw slackening as if he wanted to retort, but no witty comebacks sprang to mind.

All in all, he knew he was treading a thin line. He could press his luck, call Akaashi's bluff that he wouldn't tell Bokuto that he was going to confess later, but he wasn't feeling that risky. Sometimes accepting the barb and backing down was the way to go. Once he'd professed his love to Bokuto, then he could think about how he wanted to deal with Akaashi's attitude.

"Now if you'll excuse us, I'll show Kenma where the food is. Don't get into too much trouble."

He squinted as the other two made their escape, inwardly thinking that food was probably one of the last concerns on Kenma's mind. But if that was the excuse they wanted to use, then who was he to expose the deception?

Once they were alone, Bokuto glanced at him appraisingly.

"...You're not hungry yet, are you?"

"Nope, I'm good."

"Cool, then wanna go find your seat?"

Kuroo smiled fondly.

"Lead the way, superstar."

Bokuto guided him by the hand into the main ballroom, and once he stepped through the door, Tetsurou halted their progress for a moment to try and absorb the spectacle.

Silk cloth, lilies, and twinkling lights were absolutely everywhere, the room swathed in a gentle ocean of white decor. If he didn't know any better, he would've thought they gate-crashed someone's wedding. All in all, it was one of the more elegant setups he'd been present for, and the fact that it was for a charity banquet was at least mildly ironic.

Mostly though, he was in awe. Even going to some of Bokuto's concerts or seeing him on television at an award show hadn't made him realize what kind of world his best friend worked out of. Now it was hitting home, and frankly, he felt out of place, but also a little impressed.

He deserved it though, he believed that with all his heart.

"Ritzy, isn't it?" Bokuto chimed, catching his eye.

"That's a _ritzy_ word for you," Tetsurou teased, a laugh barely suppressed in his throat, "Look at you expanding your vocab! I'm so proud."

"Hey," his companion grumbled, "I'm plenty smart!"

"I know you are," he reassured him, squeezing their linked hands.

"C'mon, let's find your seat. I got you one near the front!"

And with that, they were off again, Bokuto tugging him along a winding path between the many tables, most of which were filling up already. People glanced at them as they passed, and Tetsurou could only begin to imagine what they thought.

For his sake, he hoped it was positive things. All of the work they'd put in already to counteract that first, scathing tabloid story had to be taking effect. As far as he knew, Bokuto hadn't been harassed, and he seemed happy enough these days. A selfish part of him wanted to hope that it wasn't just because his reputation was safe, but because he was truly enjoying them being together, even as a farce. And that maybe he wouldn't be averse to making it real.

But that was a thought best saved for after the performance, Tetsurou mused. He didn't want to get too far ahead of himself, or give his nerves a free pass to torment his mind until then by worrying about it now.

After a spell, they located the correct table, and once more, he had to gape.

"Near the front?" he said, shooting his date a skeptical look. "This _is_ the front, buddy."

"Yeah, well, I want you to have a good view of me singing! You'll be okay up here, right?"

"I'll be okay, I just didn't expect to be front and center," Kuroo murmured, free hand elevating to smooth down his hair a little. He sucked in a breath, glancing at the tables to either side. At the very least, he didn't recognize anyone famous. But considering how little he cared about celebrities, that wasn't saying much.

Bokuto let go of his other hand.

"I have to go start getting my mics and stuff ready, so you'll be by yourself. Just focus on me if you get nervous. Um," he trailed off his ramble, gaze snapping intently onto Tetsurou's. "I hope you like the song. You'll have to tell me later what you thought about it, okay?"

Kuroo laughed at the request. "Don't I always? I'm sure you'll rock it."

Bokuto stared at him, appearing slightly puzzled as though that wasn't the response he'd expected. The expression soon faded, however, into a soft smile that broadcasted nothing but peace.

"See you in a while then," he said, inching forward to peck Kuroo's cheek. 

And then he was gone, leaving him to deal with the aftermath.

Heat crept up Kuroo's face, and he cleared his throat to try and rid it of the lump that had formed there. Even if it was just a gesture to keep up appearances, he couldn't lie and say it didn't make his heart race. Or make him want more than he was given, because the desire to get his lips back on Bokuto in that moment was all-consuming.

He slumped down in his assigned seat and let his thoughts reign free.

How was he supposed to remain calm when stuff like _that_ happened? Sure, his plan was to confess tonight, but much later tonight than it was now. If Bokuto was planning on showering him with affectionate displays the rest of the evening, he wasn't sure how he or his battered heart were going to survive the wait.

**. . . . .**

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome! I'd like to thank all of our attendees tonight for helping us help victims of domestic abuse as they rebuild their lives. Your support is vital, and so we at the organization, hope you enjoy yourselves in the coming hours. We have a couple of great performers lined up for you tonight, the first of which I'll introduce now. Here with a song that's not yet released to the public is Bokuto Koutarou."

With the announcement came a sudden destabilizing wave of nerves, the sensation radiating through Kuroo as he attempted to keep his eyes focused on the stage. 

Why was he so anxious, and just from hearing his friend's name? He had seen Bokuto only moments before, and here he was sitting in a huge crowd, heart aflutter simply from hearing the guy’s name. If he was like this now, how was he going to be when he actually confessed? He was going to have to gain some self-control if he was really going to go through with this, and he needed to start working on that now.

He clapped along with the others in the audience, trying desperately to ward off the butterflies flapping around in his stomach. If there was anyone who should be relaxed, it was him. After all, he wasn’t the one about to sing in front of dozens of people. Then again, as much as he tried to deny it, he knew the reason behind his jitteriness.   

And though it was hours away, he couldn’t help but think about it. Couldn't help picturing the scenario where he put his heart on the line and was rejected. He wouldn't need an audience to amplify the pain he'd feel then; it would all come naturally. But he didn't need to be thinking about that now. He was supposed to be watching and he wouldn't let his friend down on that score.

Bokuto walked onto the platform, remarkably subdued compared to his normal energy, but the smile on his face was genuine. Soft, unforced, eager to begin.

It only made his heart flutter more intensely, if that was possible.

"Hey, hey, hey, thanks for having me!" he initiated once he was in front of the microphone. "I know a lot of people the charity helps have had bad experiences with love, or what seemed like love at the time. So tonight I wanted to do a song about real love and how it can be when it's healthy."

Pulling the stand closer, he threaded his fingers around it securely and took a steadying breath in. Behind him, the lights on the backdrop dimmed to a half-glow, dulling the over-bright surroundings to something more intimate. A few whispers issued from nearby tables, but Tetsurou was too absorbed to figure out what was being said.

A new song, and from the looks of it, one that didn't even have a melody set to it yet, because no music was streaming out through the speakers to accompany his vocals. He was going to perform with his voice alone.

When he realized that, his admiration for Bokuto's shameless courage skyrocketed a few levels.

_Is it intuition?_

_There's some things I shouldn't question_

_Why, because in your eyes_

_I see more stars than in the velvet sky_

_And there they go_

_I think I've found my forever_

_I know that this might sound crazy_

_Really crazy, but I think_

Now, he had heard Bokuto sing before. Many times, in fact, but there was something now that was putting him in a different light. A light Kuroo had never witnessed before. Maybe it was the lyrics, maybe it was the way he sung them, or maybe he was beginning to notice now how bright Bokuto shone, now that he had come to terms with how he felt about him.

Either way, it only made him more anxious about spilling his guts.

_I've fallen in love with you_

_I think I've known that from the moment I met you_

_Oh, can't you see, babe_

_Life gains a new meaning. A deep meaning_

_Every time when I'm with you_

The next set of lyrics nearly stopped his heart. Kuroo knew it was supposed to be a song about love; that was the theme of this concert. But there was more to this particular song. Almost as if Bokuto was trying to relay a message to someone out there. And he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t upsetting him, for as beautiful as the lyrics were, he could see them for what they were.

Bokuto had written a song for someone he was in love with. Someone new and amazing who had captured his attention, someone who would never be him.

Breaking free from the trance he'd been mired in, Kuroo shifted his gaze around the room, drinking in the stares of the rest of the audience. Many were watching with polite expressions, a few gently swaying with the rhythm of the lyrics in their seats. They seemed to be enjoying it, but from what he could tell, no one was undergoing the same crisis he was.

He turned his attention back to Bokuto, catching him at the tail end of the chorus.

_We've stumbled into a tangled web_

_And hide behind a mask of lies_

_I've twisted, turned, and tried to avoid_

_But hope’s all I have left_

_I see the truth in your eyes_

_Now hear it from my lips_

Bokuto’s gaze fixed on his as he sang, mouth splitting in a grin afterward that sent his heart spiraling up into his throat. Face burning and chest tight, he averted his eyes for a second, but then, in a fit of courage, raised them again to see him still staring.

The contact hit him hard, driving a wedge between him and the fears he'd been entertaining. The longer they kept looking at each other, the less scared he felt.

How had he not known he loved him years ago? It felt painfully, embarrassingly obvious in that moment. There was a spark in their matched gazes he wanted to chase after, but like his upcoming confession, it would have to wait. Patience, that’s what he needed. Patience and courage.

Maybe his anxiety was correct in its judgement, and there was a special someone the song was devoted to. What did it matter? He couldn't keep his affection to himself forever, nor did he want to move forward hiding it. Bokuto deserved the truth from him, even if it might end up causing collateral damage along the way.

His heart was ripe to burst with the sheer amount of emotions welling inside it currently. Hoping everything would go well, giddiness at the prospect of sharing his feelings, love, and envy at the small possibility that the song was written for someone else. The tension that had stockpiled within him felt like it could crush his lungs into dust if it built up any further. The urge to be close to Bokuto, to get over that final hurdle between them overwhelmed everything else.

So perhaps it wasn’t surprising that Tetsurou missed the final dregs of his performance, exchanging his earlier watchfulness for introspection. The one thing he didn’t miss was the resounding applause all around him when the song was concluded.

**. . . . .**

“Miss me?”

An arm appeared in the periphery, slinging around his shoulders. A second later, Bokuto came into view, all energy and enthusiasm. Kuroo rolled his eyes, but didn’t make any move to shake him off.

“Pined every second you were away,” he quipped sarcastically.

His eyes roamed over a slightly more disheveled Bokuto than how he’d last left him. The gold bow-tie was absent, the buttons of his suit jacket undone and shirt untucked from the waistband of his pants. Good as he’d looked to start off the night, he couldn’t say he hated this way either. It was more _him_ than the prim and proper version, and in that vein, he could picture Bokuto somewhere backstage, tearing at his clothes to loosen them up once he was done performing. Probably undoing all of what was likely Akaashi’s handiwork in one go.

Giving him one last glance over, a spark of heat coiled low within him. A pressing reminder that stalling his confession would snowball into a multitude of problems. Not least of which being that he’d have to deal with his body’s traitorous reactions whenever Bokuto looked the slightest bit appealing. Which was alarmingly often these days.

Leaving him backed into a corner. He’d just have to take the initiative. Say it and get it done before he could overthink it too much.

“Hey, Bo, could we go outside for a bit? I wanna chat about something.”

As soon as the words left him, he was struck through with a flurry of nerves.

"Sure we can!"

Tetsurou gulped. In a minute or two, whether it turned out to be terrific or terrible, he'd meet his fate.

"Great. Then let's go, bud-" Feeling stares on him, he tilted his head to the side to glimpse several other party-goers watching them. "I mean, let's go... babe."

He stuck out his hand awkwardly for Bokuto to latch onto, and stiffened a little when he released the arm slung around his shoulders to take him up on the offer. They made it only about halfway toward the terrace before Bokuto halted them both in their tracks, staring off into another direction.

"That's him," he murmured, pointing at someone in the distance. Kuroo followed his line of sight, landing on a guy whose appearance was best described as ostentatious.

"That's who now?" He eyed the stranger's blond undercut and bright blue tuxedo with a heaping dose of suspicion.

"The actor who tried to ask me out. You know, back when all this stuff started," Bokuto explained in a hush.

Tetsurou's face twisted, but then he remembered how that situation had played out. Sure, he doubted the guy would ever become a favorite person of his, but in the end, it had been the reporter that had gotten Bokuto into trouble, not this actor fellow. It wouldn't hurt to socialize.

Or rather, for Bokuto to.

The more he considered it, the more Tetsurou sensed an opportunity. A few additional moments for himself to compose his nerves before he confessed. Ones that he sorely needed with how heavily his heart was beating in his chest.

"Why don't you go say hi real quick? Since he wasn't an asshole in the end. I can grab us drinks while you do it."

"That's okay with you?" Bokuto asked.

"Yeah, it's fine." He made an effort to keep his smile free of his ulterior motives.

"Will do then. See you in a bit!"

With that, he released their linked hands and darted off. Kuroo watched him go, and when he was far enough, he heaved a sigh.

He'd had enough stress for one night. Ever since he'd stepped into the car to come here, it had been one up or down after the other. Every time he thought he had the confidence to speak the truth, he had to wait, or something happened that shook that confidence. It was maddening, especially considering the stakes he was toying with. Their friendship, and being with someone who, melodramatic as it sounded, was probably the love of his life.

Even if he hadn't been wise enough to see that until recently.

Turning on his heel, he made for the bar, sights set on the legion of pre-filled champagne cups that stretched across the tables there. Something light to drink, because the last thing he needed was to have his judgment be skewed even further.

Kuroo dropped into one of the empty chairs. A sigh whisked through his lips as he leaned his head back, eyes closed. Was he really about to do this? He had doubts already, but Bokuto’s new song had invented a slew more. What if he was setting himself up only to fall right back down?

Ah, hell with it. He had already gotten this far. What was the point in stopping now? He was prepared, somewhat, and he had good faith in their friendship. It was solid, as solid as it could get, so if Bokuto didn’t feel the same, they had a sturdy foundation to fall back onto. It might be wobbly for a bit after a failed confession, but he knew it would go back to what it was once everything passed.

Hopefully.

He pushed his doubts aside and ordered two of the drinks, returning back to the succor of the warm leather seat while he waited for them to be put on ice. Drumming his fingers on the countertop, he froze when a vibration came from his pocket. Kuroo knit his brows, puzzled, and pulled his phone out to check the notifications. 

> **applepi** : did you tell him yet
> 
> **kurotets17** : Nope.
> 
> **kurotets17** : He's talking right now.
> 
> **kurotets17** : To some actor I guess, the guy who wanted to ask him out before.
> 
> **applepi** : ....
> 
> **applepi** : youre stalling arent you
> 
> **kurotets17** : It's no big deal.
> 
> **kurotets17** : Not like they're going to hook up since he and I came here together.
> 
> **applepi** : no but youre putting off doing it
> 
> **applepi** : stop avoiding bokuto
> 
> **applepi** : he isnt scary
> 
> **kurotets17** : Right now he's extremely scary. To me.
> 
> **applepi** : he wont be if you talk to him hes not going to hate you
> 
> **kurotets17** : Remains to be seen! Anyway, where are you guys right now?
> 
> **applepi** : home we left a while ago
> 
> **kurotets17** : Wow so you abandoned me to this turmoil? Thanks so much Kenma!
> 
> **applepi** : you dont need me there
> 
> **applepi** : like i said he isnt scary and he loves you
> 
> **kurotets17** : ... I want to believe that, but it's hard. Still, I know. I have to just do it.
> 
> **kurotets17** : I'll let you know how it goes.
> 
> **applepi** : sparing the gross details
> 
> **kurotets17** : Hey I had to deal with you and Akaashi's gross details, you can listen to mine!
> 
> **applepi** : you barely saw anything kuro get over it
> 
> **applepi** : talk to bokuto and good luck
> 
> **applepi** : im turning off phone for a while

Sighing, Tetsurou stowed his cell back in his pocket and stretched out his legs in front of him. He knew what had to come next. Unwittingly, Kenma had given him the final push that he needed. And though his store of courage was horribly depleted, at least his mind was made up now.

He would confess.

"Sir?"

Kuroo turned to find a waiter standing nearby, offering out the drinks he'd wanted. Thanking him, he took the two champagne flutes and got carefully to his feet. He scanned across the room, and his lips formed a wobbly smile when he spotted Bokuto standing right where he'd left him.

' _Hopefully these drinks will still be good for a toast when I'm done_ ,' Kuroo thought, laughing soundlessly as he started making his way over.

He pointedly ignored the giddy feeling in his stomach in favor of filling his head with positivity. Their eye contact while Bokuto was singing, for one. Tetsurou wanted to believe that meant something. If he pushed aside some of the doubt clouding his brain, he could even see how the lyrics maybe, potentially, fit them together. Bokuto had smiled so brilliantly when their gazes locked. Why would he smile at him like that if it meant nothing? If the song had nothing to do with him at all?

A frisson coursed through him at the thought.

It wasn't crazy to think he was singing to him, right? Even their friends seemed so sure that Bokuto was in love with him - if that was the popular consensus, there had to be some logic behind it, right? He wasn't just reading too much into things?

Pausing, Kuroo sucked in a huge breath to steady himself. His nerves were taut, half afraid, and half were so excited at the prospect that he wasn't sure how to describe what he was feeling. The only thing he knew was that he had to calm down somehow before he got back to Bokuto.

"So you aren't...?"

An unfamiliar voice drifted through his erratic thoughts, tugging back into reality. Tetsurou raised his head, searching for where it came from. Slowly but surely, he tracked around the room, gaze eventually settling on the blond stranger Bokuto was conversing with.

"Nope! I mean, we were pretending to, so kinda, but not really. Kuroo and me, we're just good friends!"

He stiffened where he stood, the words striking him like an ice pick to the chest and shattering the resolve he'd managed to generate.

Suddenly, the room felt overwhelmingly loud to him, Bokuto's voice dissolving to be replaced by the various sounds of people talking and drinking and eating around him, but at ten times the normal volume. He needed it to stop, needed to remove himself before his head exploded from the noise bombarding it.

Circling back around, he fled.

**. . . . .**

Apparently there was a chance he'd misinterpreted things between them. That was abundantly clear now, Kuroo thought dully.

Maybe Bokuto cared for him, but not in that way. He loved him in the way that a normal person loves their best friend, a platonic affection that he'd stupidly gone and decided had more to it. And now Kuroo couldn't go back, couldn't forget the realization that he was in love. If anything, the needling pain coursing through his chest drove that truth home.

Tipping his head back, he finished off the last of his champagne, barely noticing the sour twinge to the drink as it slipped down his throat. So many parts of him felt numb, except for the few that were steadily being torn apart. A little bitterness was nothing in comparison.

Tears stung his eyes, burning the more he tried to resist letting them out. Maybe it was his last bit of pride holding him back, but even if he was alone and able to do so in peace, he didn't want to give into the impulse.

He had zero clue what his next move would be.

Walking back inside, acting like nothing was wrong? That was probably what was best for Bokuto, considering they were still technically in public, putting on a show for the media. And maybe, if he worked at it, he could keep Bokuto from realizing how he was really feeling.

Tetsurou barked out a laugh to himself.

Or not - he wasn't giving his friend enough credit. Bokuto wasn't the observant sort in general, but he had a knack for being intuitive about people's condition. How they were doing, in spirit or in body. He might not be able to figure out why without any leads, but he'd know something was off.

No, if he returned to the afterparty, Bokuto would see right through his acting. And then the real problems would ensue, because he'd want to know why he was upset, why he seemed tense around him.

On the other hand, he could always make a run for it. Head home and claim he had started feeling sick, and hadn't wanted to bother Bokuto by making him think he had to leave early too. It wouldn't be a full-on lie, just a creative facade to cover up the real reason why. He could go home and--

A few more droplets squeezed from his eyes, a wave of frustration settling over him like a layer of dust.

No, he couldn't do that either. And as enticing as the idea was, Tetsurou knew he couldn't go through with it. More than anything else, he wanted this night to be a success for Bokuto. He couldn't ruin it for him by thinking only about his own needs. Leaving him alone would probably prompt unwanted media attention, and then all the work they'd put into building his reputation would take a hit. It wasn't an option he could seriously consider with that knowledge in mind.

There was one way forward, and it was the harder of the two roads. What he'd have to do was compose himself and head back inside, hoping that he wouldn't get called out for his dour mood while they were around other people. After that? It would probably be disastrous, given Kuroo doubted he'd be able to keep his mouth shut when Bokuto eventually asked him what was going on, and he didn't know what damage that conversation would have on their relationship.

Things were going to be rough, that was all he was certain of.

Abandoning his glass on one of the outdoor tables, he started walking along the garden path, only to nearly knock into someone coming from the opposite direction.

Stunned, he took a quick step back, and swallowed hard when he realized who he'd been found by.

"There you are! I thought you were taking forever, so I've been looking for you!" Bokuto chimed, features settling into a soft, relieved look. "Why'd you come out here?"

"I uh," Tetsurou began haltingly, tripping over the explanation faster than he could think of what to say. "I-"

Bokuto examined him closer.

"...Have you been crying?" he blurted out a second later, voice pitched high with alarm.

Pursing his lips shut, Kuroo grappled with what to say, how to play off the reaction, but he knew it was useless. He'd been caught.

"Does it seem like I have been?" he joked shakily, nearly welling up with another wave of tears when Bokuto's look withered into one of hurt, and he recoiled, leaving another step's worth of space between them.

"You're crying right now," Bokuto pointed out, and then quieter, "Why? Did I do something? Did someone bother you about us coming here together?"

He shook his head curtly, once, and then a second time.

"No, I just," he hiccupped, tone devolving into a near sob as the sadness reclaimed him, "I'm an idiot." Tetsurou bit his lower lip, trying desperately to rein in the word vomit waiting to expel without his permission, but he was drowning in self-pity, and his head was figuratively barely above water. In the state he was in, he wasn't in control of what wanted to come out of his mouth.

"I heard you talking to that actor. And I know we're friends, we're pretending right now, but I'm selfish and I was.. I was actually going to tell you tonight that I'm not pretending... anymore. I want more than that with you, Bo, I care about you so much, god-" he paused to suck in a rasping breath, eyes stinging from the pressure bursting behind them. 

"I was going to tell you all that after this was done, was going to be honest about it. And I was stupid enough to think there was a chance that maybe you weren't pretending too."

Before he could continue, Bokuto was charging forward. Launching himself, he gathered Kuroo up his arms, wrapping him into a full-body embrace.

The surprise and the strength of the gesture stilled the words in Kuroo's throat. He stood there in shock as Bokuto held on, not speaking, just clinging to him with everything he had, as if he wanted to wring the depression from him. It was an act that surprised Tetsurou for a moment, before he chalked it up to Bokuto's forgiving nature. Even if they didn't have a romantic future together, Bokuto clearly didn't want him to feel bad about it. Didn't want him to act like he was acting now.

Which in turn alleviated one of his biggest fears - he wasn't going to completely lose him after all.

Exhaling, he relaxed his posture, gradually shifting to lay his hands on Bokuto's back.

The outcome wasn't everything he'd hoped for, but it helped, knowing they could keep their friendship.

Bokuto squeezed around him and then lifted his head to respond. 

“Kuroo-oo,” he whined, “you’ve got it all wrong.”

Blinking back the tears that had stuck to his lashes, Tetsurou’s face twisted into one of pure confusion. His head was throbbing from all of the damage done to it already, and he could hardly think straight outside the hurt he was experiencing. Neither could he puzzle out what his friend meant without further clarification.

Stiffening in his grasp, he waited for him to expand on his statement.

“I really love you, okay! ...I thought you’d get that from the song I wrote about you.”

At first, he was stunned again. Then disbelief trickled in, coloring everything and inspiring another bout of wetness to prick at his eyes. ‘ _The song he wrote about me_ ,’ he thought, ruminating over the explanation blankly. ‘ _He’s just being nice. I’m not any of those things._ ’

“You don’t have to tell me what I want to hear. I won’t desert you for not feeling the same. I just feel really stupid right now. It’ll pass, give me time,” he quipped, mourning the tightness of his throat as he forced the words out. Each one slid painfully into existence, slipping past the blockage there through no small amount of effort.

Then, he was ripped from his position, Bokuto pulling back so that he could stare at him.

“You are really stupid,” he remarked softly, exasperated features settling down at the obvious torment reflected on Kuroo’s face. “I’m actually telling you I love you. I’ve loved you for a while, you know? Didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to say it, let alone sing it. I thought you weren’t interested.”

A faint blush rose to Bokuto’s cheeks, and his expression grew sheepish.

“Actually, you can say I was an idiot too because like you I thought hey, we’ve been friends this long. If nothing’s happened yet, it won’t. So I kinda locked those feelings away. But when you said you’d go out with me, I got my hopes up again. Then we kissed that time and you seemed into it. I decided later I’d tell you in my own way and see how you’d react. Didn’t mean to make you cry, though.”

Shifting, both of his hands moved upwards, hovering on either side of Kuroo's face. His thumbs brushed off the tears slowly making their way down, clearing them away until no more surged forth to replace them. He hummed quietly as he worked, and the gentle lilt of the sound soothed the storm that was raging inside Tetsurou's mind, allowing him to absorb what he'd been told.

That ultimately, they'd separately reached the same incorrect conclusion. They'd been friends for so long without anything to challenge that status quo that neither of them had thought anything beyond friendship was possible. In his case, he hadn't been aware that he'd wanted more than that from Bokuto, but either way, they'd both been mistaken.

He wasn't being rejected. He wasn't selfish for falling in love with his best friend, because he was loved by him in return.

"Then what about what you said back there?" His doubt might have been ebbing away, but the question lingered.

"You must not have heard it all. I was just saying that we're friends now, but that I hoped you'd want to be my boyfriend after this stuff dies down." Bokuto was entirely calm, looking back at him without a trace of deception present. Tetsurou glanced into his eyes, but once he did, he had no reason to doubt anything he was telling him. Given enough time, he could've drowned in the warmth of that stare.

"...Yeah," he muttered, closing his eyes to salve some of the sting there.

It felt, it sounded impossible to him, what he was hearing. Too good to be true, and he was almost too out of sorts to acknowledge how happy it made him. Still, there was the slightest twist of his stomach, and the powerful urge to grin that bubbled up in him that told him he wasn't numb. Leaning his head into one of Bokuto's hands, he gave into temptation and smiled.

"You will?"

"Yeah, I will."

Even blind to the world around him, when their mouths met, he expected it, reveled in the pressure of Bokuto bracing against him.

Sank into the kiss with a slow, but ravenous energy, looping a hand around to the back of his head to steady them both. He melted open at the first brush of Bokuto's tongue on the seal of his lips, and just as soon he delved deeper, rubbing their tongues together before he fell back to capture the tip of his and suckled it. Nothing felt deep enough, but what they had was a fair start.

If Bokuto hadn't laughed then, Tetsurou wasn't sure how far he would've taken it.

He was engulfed in another consuming embrace, Bokuto's quiet laughter streaming into his nearest ear. Despite having no clue what had set him off, he treasured the sound and waited to be filled in. Luxuriated in Bokuto's warmth suffusing through him again, and dropped his head onto his shoulder in the meantime.

"I could kiss you forever," Bokuto admitted at length, holding Kuroo to him tight.

He promptly snorted.

"There's this thing called oxygen, buddy. As humans, we'd kinda need it after a while," he teased, lips curling against the softness of Bokuto's suit jacket.

"Excuse me trying to be romantic, _Tetsu-_ "

"You serenading me in front of a bunch of people's pretty romantic," Kuroo interjected. "Don't worry. I'm very much wooed."


End file.
